Per aspera ad astra

Last week, Brandon & I made the long journey in my beautiful year-old Corolla through the area just east of the Great Plains that we might refer to as ‘least interesting part of America’ (though our return trip through LA and MS was quite lovely- check out the map). Why would we willingly visit Oklahoma (albeit only for the night)? Good people and wine, of course!

Brandon’s best friend of many, many (16?) years got married on June 13th and B was the best man.  We drove down Tuesday and Wednesday, spent Thursday and Friday relaxing by the pool and reading (okay, only I did that. Brandon rushed around getting his tux and delivering way overdue senior fundraiser gifts). Friday evening was the rehearsal/dinner, at which newlyweds-to-be Jay and Jen practiced feeding each other cake, with varying degrees of success. 

Meanwhile, Brandon and I practiced posing for the camera. Hey, as the best man, you’re in a lot of photos- you need the practice.

I bravely wore my hair down for the dinner, but I didn’t trust the Texas humidity to take it easy on me for the wedding. Brandon’s fantastic mom and I trekked off early Saturday morning to get my hair done by Huna, an incredibly interesting woman from Pakistan who managed to tame my hair into this:

The wedding was at St. Anne’s, a Houston church that the coordinator said brides ‘die to get married in’. Very beautiful place, which doesn’t come through photos as nicely when one of the church’s Big Rules is no flash photography.

The ceremony began and one of the most adorable ring bearers made his way down the aisle. Interestingly, the groomsmen/groom waited at the altar while the bridesmaids came down the aisle- I’ve never been to that kind of wedding before.

This was the best (not blurry mess) photo of Jen & her dad that I could get.

The gang’s all here! Including that pesky woman who also wanted to take photos. You can’t tell in the photo, but the bridesmaids had very pretty olive green dresses (think this color) and darker orange-red bouquets.

After the wedding (you guessed it!) came a ton of photos. Here’s Brandon taking a break from BM duties to ham it up with me.

And his family! (B, mom, dad, Austin-of-the-welcoming-smile)

The reception was further north at a very posh country club. Delicious food (chicken/fish/roast beef & all the extras), endless wine (see?), and dancing.

Fairly traditional reception- the couple danced, mom/groom, bride/dad danced, everyone did the Hokey Pokey. And then there was cake! A lovely white for Jen and (to the right in the photo below) a groom’s cake in the style of a baseball field (Jay is a huge Astros fan, which I’ve graciously forgiven him for).

Then Brandon had to fulfill his final role (after throwing a bachelor party and being photographed a hundred times) and join MOH Patricia in toasting the couple.

Brandon’s toast was excellent- short, simple, funny, sappy- and with a genuine “Live Long and Prosper” to conclude. He also looks about ten times less nervous than I would feel in his shoes.

Cue some champagne, cake-for-all, more dancing and wine– and all before 5pm!

Best wishes to the beautiful, happy, intelligent couple (oh, and Jay & Jen too)!

You know, some statistics say that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, but I prefer my stats:

States visited: 8 (MO, KS, OK, TX, LA, MS, AR, TN)
Miles driven: 2,335
Average MPG: 37-38–  <3 the Corolla!
Cute golden retrievers playd with: 1
Puns created: at least 6 (including one of my best- Wichitalkin’ about Kansas?)
People wed: 2
Adorable photos taken: Too many to count. Here’s one of my absolute favorites from the week:

kejreks

Long time no blog. I’ve been busy?

About a month ago, I jumped on the health/fitness wagon, in large part due to an addictive little website called SparkPeople. I’d been a member since February, but never really played around with any of the features (which include a nutrition tracker, fitness log, health-related articles, and interactive community of users). Then Facebook started changing things for the worse, I needed to get measured for a bridesmaid’s dress, and I found solace from both issues in SP. I’ve been able to consistently eat well and work out on a regular (5-6 times a week) basis- and it feels awesome.

On that note, a coworker of mine started a program called Couch to 5K, which is a running program designed for beginners looking to build endurance, and she absolutely raves about it. We’re both of the mentality that people shouldn’t run unless there is a grizzly bear involved, so I decided to try it out. I finished Week 1 on Wednesday (each week involves three days of a running workout; this week was intervals of 60 seconds running/90 seconds walking) and, while challenging, it wasn’t terrible. That’s the most positive thing I’ve ever been able to say about my relationship with running.

So while Erinn’s wedding (and the hot dress) in October is a good long-term motivator, I need something more tangible to work towards in the short term. Enter the Solstice Stride, a 5K Run/Walk in Coralville at the end of June. I submitted my entry form yesterday (am working on convincing the coworker to join me) and am pumped. Granted, I may end up more focused on the ‘walk’ part, but I’m looking forward to having something to push myself towards. Wish me luck (and endurance)!

My first assignment for one of my courses (Open Source, Open Access, Open Education) was to write an introduction to ourselves, in part defining who we are online. Here’s my go at it:

In a sense, the Web and I grew up together. I’m only two years younger than the original Macintosh and when I was a toddler the Internet had just evolved past its acronymatic ARPANET, et al. incarnations to become more recognizable as the accessible global network we know today.

While computers never defined my childhood as they do for many growing up now, I can still trace the progression of my maturity through my former AOL screen names: from the parent-created luvbks (love books), to the rebellious bsb1427 (liking boy bands seemed rebellious at the time), to the slightly cooler tennisplayamandy. My search engine of choice? AskJeeves. The Y2K frenzy struck as I turned the awkward age of 15 and was trying to figure out how *I* was going to survive to 2000 (survival being contingent on having the proper wardrobe and friends, of course).

Then of course I went off to college, shed AOL forever, and met Google. I got my first laptop, became eternalaurora (on Pidgin) and started checking my email daily (a requirement at my college). Within three years of undergraduate study, my liberal arts education, with the help of the Internet, had defined the person I was becoming and am today. Facebook hit my campus in early 2005, about the same time that Wikipedia had become the ultimate quasi-academic time wasting tool.

So who am I now online?

I text, I blog (latitudebylongitude.com), I tweet (twitter.com), I Skype, I Stumble (stumbleupon.com) and I’m LinkedIn. I have fifteen stations on Pandora and 168 books on Goodreads. I stay connected with my Russian friends on VKontakte and ICQ, my Korean friends on Windows Messenger,  and my US friends on Facebook and Pidgin.

For as involved as I am in the online world, my ubiquitous moniker enables me to slip into anonymity (as anonymous as any connected twentysomething can be). According to the following search engines, Amanda Ross is one in:

Facebook: More than 500
PeekYou: 762
MySpace: 9,410
Google Search: about 3,810,000

And if you believe Wikipedia, I’m rated as the most influential person in British publishing.

In many ways, my generation got lucky. My transition into this open society has been steady, but gradual- following the course of my adolescence and early adulthood. I know how to use an iPhone and subscribe to RSS feeds almost daily. Though I’m not dependent on technology to get by (my sister, six years younger, texted up a $200 phone bill without breaking a sweat and can’t go a day without her MySpace),it’s hard to imagine my world without it. I have found my last four jobs (language camp chef, ESL instructor, SAT instructor, study abroad advisor) on the Internet, I bought all of my living room furniture on Craigslist, and I saved $100 getting my laptop on Amazon. Mindful of concerns about privacy and being ‘too open’, I must also be aware that openness (and adaptability to that openness) is what our society embraces these day and find a healthy, rational compromise.

Resolutions, goals, lofty aspirations– whatever you want to call them. Here are mine for 2009.

1. Be more aware of the world
Though I travel a decent amount, I’m only learning that I’m more and more ignorant of- well- everything. Today I subscribed to Foreign Affairs magazine to give myself a tangible link to the outside world and I’ll be more diligent about reading non-pulp BBC stories.
2. Read 100 books.
A repeat goal from last year, though I only made 72 then. I have a list of recommendations (mostly fiction) from friends, but I’d also specifically like to read:
-Hamlet, Macbeth, Othello
-Catcher in the Rye
-The Satanic Verses (and other by Rushdie)
-The Cellist of Sarajevo, The Book Thief, Kabul Beauty School– and other similar fic.
-More books by foreign authors
-More books on the topics of: globalization, women’s education, population control,  and other ed topics I can’t get enough of
3. Actively maintain 4.0 in grad school
I did well this past semester in my program, though I could have put more effort in. This semester I tackle two classes (as opposed to one and an independent study) and I want to be on top of readings and posting on Moodle to really get the most out of my degree (if not for the job market, then for resolution #1).
4. Lose 10 pounds
Because a weight-loss/health-gain goal is almost a requisite. Should be simple, right?
5. Write something
For as seldom as I write something non-blog, I really do enjoy writing. So my goal for the year is simple: write something tangible- even if it’s just a ridiculous short story.

It feels like it took a year to get this post up, phew. I also have a heavy emphasis on intellectual-type things, but “continue budgeting money, maintain my friendships/relationship/familyships, and continue being awesome at work” are all undeclared resolutions, because they’re more maintenance-related than New Resolution! type deals.

In Unrelated News That Makes Me Happy: Read me. It’s really about time.

One of my goals for 2008 was to read 100 books. As of this afternoon, I have 71 (and will at least eke out a 72nd by tomorrow). So no cigar. Regardless, I think I did well. My books are from a range of genres (sci-fi, Judaism, basketball, YA, Russia, grammar, etc.) and I even knocked out a few classics I’ve been meaning to read.

Rather than clog up your page with a list of my books (check out my Goodreads if you’re interested/want longer reviews), here are the best/worst of the bunch:

Best:
1. The Kite Runner : Khaled Hosseini
2. Atlas Shrugged : Ayn Rand
3. Three Cups of Tea : Greg Mortensen & David Relin
4. Doctor Zhivago : Boris Pasternak
5. Midnight’s Children : Salman Rushdie

Runners-Up (and equally recommended):
Do They Hear You When You Cry? : Fauziya Kassindja
I Know This Much Is True : Wally Lamb
The History of Love/Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close : Nicole Krauss/Jonathan Safran Foer (married)

Happily, it was much easier to narrow down the Worst- I read so many fabulous books this year, but the few terrible ones stick out like sore thumbs.

Worst
1. A Separate Peace
It bugs me that so many of my Worst Books are required readings in high/middle school/Korean SAT prep courses. There’s not much I can say about ASP except Ugh. John Knowles, next time make a semi-sympathetic narrator, and kill off the martyr character using a disease/complication that actually exists.
2. Island of the Blue Dolphins
As much as I love stories with a self-sufficient female protagonist, this book fell short of my expectations. Fans will say it’s better because it’s based on a true story, but I feel there’s a large difference between a 20-30 year old woman (True Story) and a twelve(?) year old girl being marooned on an island. So, okay, it’s a coming-of-age-Robinson-Crusoe story. I wish it had been written by a woman, preferably a culturally-sensitive one, because O’Dell’s cautious storytelling robs the book of what it could have been.
3. Robinson Crusoe
Some people have a problem with the premise- but I think a novel about someone on a desert island, even with religious overtones, has potential written all over it (look at something like Life of Pi- okay, there’s a tiger, but Crusoe had a dog AND cats). This story was just dry, insensitive, and overly pedantic, without even having the grace to be well-written.
4. Hairstyles of the Damned
Book Summary: Whine Whine Whine. I’m Punk.
5. The Twilight Trio (I didn’t bother with the 4th, after hearing devotees spurn it)
I understand why these are so addictive for the tweens and teens (hell, after the Required Books like RC and ASP, I hardly blame them for wanting some action). But wow, are these terrible. Vampire coolness aside, here’s the summary: Spineless female protagonist with unhealthy addiction for emotionally dependent boyfriend. Thrilling!

Here’s to 100 in 2009!

It’s my mom’s birthday! Happy birthday, fellow female traveler extraordinaire!

Thanksgiving 2008.

Pont Alexandre III- Paris 2007.

Delfont Mackintosh Theatre, Les Miserables- London 2006.

Coming in 2009– the Ross women do Ireland!

Sinatra had it right when he said that New York never sleeps; it’s one of those cities that has an energy about it that’s irresistible. And as I discovered in early December, there are few places in the world that can get you in the holiday spirit better than the Big Apple.

My favorite building in the city- none other than Rockefeller Center. There are photos of the tree out there that are heaps better than the ones I took, but I like this shot.

We walked a good portion of Fifth Ave, including (of course) all the the must-see shops and their decorations.

Lord & Taylor storefront (above) and one of the window displays (below). I haven’t previously been a big holiday person, but a few Christmases away from home (and the ebullience of Katya, who has never experienced Christmas American-style) have made a sentimentalist of me.

One of the greatest parts about being in NYC is just walking around everywhere and seeing the different architecture, neighborhoods, and people. For the latter, there’s arguably no place better than Central Park.

Skating at either rink at Central Park (below) and Rockefeller was $20+, with a wait of more than an hour. Somehow I was content with watching from the sidelines. (Katya was upset there wasn’t more fast, daredevil skating)

Okay, so we cheated and got a tour with one of the rickshaw drivers hanging along the edges of the park. It was cold! At any rate, ’twas well worth it.

Our driver (biker?) was from Tunisia and is moving to Chicago in a few months (and is so far the only man I’ve heard complain about the beauty of New York women). Super personable guy, though he was a bit daft and let Katya try to bicycle.

Final NYC shots: St. Patrick’s Cathedral, partially obscured by the soft, ethereal fog of… the food vendor right next to me.

And my favorite NY statue (located appropriately right by my favorite building)- Atlas, 1937.

Get it? If not, you’re obviously not as big a fan of Atlas Shrugged as I.

After bidding farewell to Jenni & Katya, I was on my way back to Iowa. Goodbye, New York!

Okay, so Broadway is never really dark. It reminded me a lot of Seoul- neon lights everywhere and masses of people rushing about. Just a really cool, exciting area to be in.

Katya, Jenni and I at Times Square on Friday night.

The red stairs (which we’re sitting on in the above photo) on top of the ticket booth in the middle of the road are apparently fairly new and provide for a great view of Times Square.

In the spirit of doing everything stereotypical tourist-y (and because I love musical theater), I resolved to see a Broadway show. On Saturday, Jenni and I ventured down to the tkts booth under the red stairs in the hopes of scoring discounted tickets. Our show was playing at the Eugene O’Neil Theatre, which only seats 1108 (Several hundred less than the theaters that show Wicked and Lion King). Could we do it? Jenni prays.

An hour later, our toes were numb, but we were indeed the proud owners of two half-price orchestra seats for Spring Awakening! (Music by that guy who did Barely Breathing)

We spent the rest of the afternoon warming up by walking around Washington Square Park (the park with the arch from When Harry Met Sally and a dozen other movies) and the NYU area, then returned for the 8:00 show.

Hands-down incredible, incredible show. It’s won 8 Tonys and a handful of other awards- and for good reason. It’s a rock musical about teenage angst in 19th century Germany– though the description does it absolutely no justice (in the same way that saying Avenue Q is about a bunch of twentysomething puppets).

After the show, we walked down to the Stardust Diner. It’s famous for the singing waiters that prance. I got an apple streudel and wasn’t terribly impressed . Maybe worth it for the experience, but if you must go, get a (very overpriced) coffee and be done with it.

Okay, the real origin of my last post (how easily distracted I am):

In the spirit of complaining about Christmas shopping, my boss mentioned that this year she isn’t giving gifts to most of the adults she knows; instead she’s donating money in their names to UNICEF, an organization she regularly contributes to.

Now, I’ve previously been one of those people who would much, much rather have a toy/doll/CD player/computer/cell phone than to hear that someone gave NGO XYZ $20 for me. But as much as I love getting gifts, they’ve been diminishing in number/unique coolness over the years. Someday (but not yet, parents!) I’ll get to the point where I don’t really need, or really want, the generic gift card or hand lotion.  And there are some people (like aforementioned boss) who I would rather gift in alternative ways.

So what’s a girl who hates charity to do? Fortunately, I found at least two solutions fairly quickly!

Central Asia Institute: I’ve already gushed about Three Cups of Tea (please go read it!), so it’s fairly natural that I’d support the foundation that came from the whole adventure. What makes them different from the aid organizations I was so blatantly bashing last post? Well, they are refreshingly guilt-free. The book and the website focus on the fact that change needs to happen in Central Asia (Pakistan/Afghanistan specifically) and how it can happen through promoting education, particularly women’s education. Like Greg, I am a firm believer that education, when done properly, is the key to alleviating poverty, disease, and a great majority of human rights issues in the world today. CAI doesn’t accept materials (they’re cheaper in-country) or foreign volunteers (more overhead cost and safety issues). What greatly appealed to me, as I was reading Greg’s story, was that he built a school and then put the control in the hands of locals. There are no Peace Corps volunteers running around teaching about HIV prevention; Afghan children are taught by an Afghan teacher. This is specific, sustainable and localized, and the results speak for themselves.

Kiva: Maybe I’m sort of selling out with CAI because of my crush on Greg Mortensen, but I promise I have no political or romantic affiliation with Kiva, a micro-lending website. The essentials: The site has profiles of several hundred entrepeneurs in the developing world (from the Dominican Republic to Bolivia to the ‘Stans). You loan (not give!) money to a single entrepreneur, who then uses the loan money to work on Project X that  they’ve previously planned out). They improve their community, make a little money, and repay the loan. You get your money back, and can choose whether to invest in another entrepreneur or take it  back entirely. During the project, the entrepreneur keeps you/Kiva posted on how their project is impacting them personally, as well as how it is affecting the community. Kiva is the first of its kind and is good at what it does- make it possible for a person to gain an economic boost and improve his community, while not robbing him of his independence and dignity.

I have serious reservations about donating to any foreign aid organization, no matter how reputable and well-meaning. Start: Look at the advertising. Christian Children’s Fund commercials , and others like them, all follow the same general format. Fade in with some clips of wide-eyed, too-skinny children in dangerous surroundings, cut in to a melodic spokesperson (double points for a celebrity!) who needles you for putting off donating because you’re too busy, then lures you in by mentioning the low cost and how great you’ll feel in the morning about sponsoring a child (this is usually the point where he picks a child up and/or ruffles a kid’s hair). The phone number pops up and the scene, usually one specific child (emphasizing *your* sponsored child) fades to black.

Don’t have time to adopt a foreign child or volunteer abroad? Don’t worry! For the low, low price of $1a day, you can validate yourself and not have to get off your couch! The growing penchant for efficiency (not only in America, but worldwide) means hands-off, quick-fix solutions are substituting more and more for real effort. This isn’t always bad- efficiency can be productive, but it increasingly almost never is. The basic overused example: Don’t have time for a nutritious home-cooked meal? Go to McDonald’s.

This fast-food charity appeal wouldn’t be nearly as effective without the implied guilt trip you get to take as a result of the marketing. Sure, call me a terrible person. I’m not ashamed to say that I don’t sponsor a child and, yet, I manage to feel great in the morning anyway. Yet somehow this commercial is supposed to insinuate that I should (or that I’d feel better if I just gave them $1/day). But I refuse, as Rand would say, to accept as guilt the fact of my own existence. I am grateful for every opportunity I have had, whether it’s getting a good education, staying in a secure job, and generally living a cushy lifestyle. So I agree with the basic mission of a lot of these organizations- that all people should have the ability to have a certain standard of living if they work hard enough towards it. But these organizations want me to donate because I pity the poor, and I most emphatically do not pity them. Pity is an emotionally manipulation and 99% inefficient (I have even less tolerance for self-pity). Lest you think I’m a terrible person, realize that I do fully support human rights, recognize the need for change, and would like to be part of that change. Just not because I feel sorry for anyone.

But for all that rhetoric about advertising, guilt trips, etc, there’s a fundamental flaw in all of this: Charity is not a sustainable solution to these- or any- problems. For all the accountability an aid organization can throw out, the results are ephemeral, if any. There are plenty of articles and books out there about how aid organizations are only multiplying the problems they’re trying to solve. When money/resources fall into the hands of a corrupt political system, is inappropriately allocated or causes dependency, organizations are doing more harm than good.

Some problems that are glaringly obvious: Aid organizations and those who benefit from them rely on donors (or the stock market- whoops!) to continue the program. A community that has grown accustomed to receiving tubs of water during the seasonal drought have less motivation to develop new agricultural methods. “Sponsor a child money” goes to community development projects rather than individuals (fortunately, eh? otherwise only the cute kids get to go to school )- but all too often these organizations channel their resources into totally inappropriate areas, whether through an overzealous idealism or the ulterior motives of a government.

Bottom line: Charity will not sustain itself, and it will not sustain a community.

As a final note, I’m really excited to see this documentary whenever I can find a way to get hold of it.